Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
