whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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