i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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