Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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