I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
