People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
