You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
