I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
