HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
