I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
