Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize