he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
