hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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