Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
