so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
