So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
