Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
