and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
