oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
