Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
