it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
