Tell her she can't have a vagina
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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