I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
