I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
