I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Congratulations! We have a period
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
