yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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