I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
