My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
did i just pee glitter
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
