Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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