My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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