i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
