guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
