So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
