my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
