SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
