Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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