Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
