I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
