I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
