dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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