I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
