we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
