my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
