I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Less talking, more tequila
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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