Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
