hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
