That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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