my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
