It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize