my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
