all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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