Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
