I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
