You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize