Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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