I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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