she was so not down for the gang bang
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
