My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
