I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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